Do You Feel Uncomfortable Talking to Girls – Here are 10 Awesome Tips

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“Come on, you know I can’t talk to women unless I’m lit up like the Hindu festival of Diwali.”

                                         (The Big Bang Theory Episode 20 Series 2)

Remember Dr. Rajesh Raj Koothrappalli aka Raj from the popular American sitcom The Big Bang Theory? Extremely shy around women, he could not bring himself to talk to them unless he took alcohol. He even had a “nervous bladder”! Raj, you have got company. Many guys feel uncomfortable talking to girls and so try to avoid any chance encounters and prefer to stay away from groups. Do you feel nervous when you are in the company of women? Here are the top 10 tips to help you overcome your fear, what we might call the ‘Raj Syndrome’.


1. Be yourself. Say a big NO to pretensions.

Be yourselves

The most significant tip – don’t try to be someone else. Don’t pretend. You have no reason to act like someone else because you are a perfect guy. You need not dress up like Tom who wears costly suits with lots of girlfriends swarming around him; you need not speak accented English like Harry who is the most popular guy in your college; you need not worry about your shapeless figure when Harry who has a six pack body always makes fun of you when you stumble while talking to girls. Build in confidence. Be optimistic and discard all negative thoughts. Nothing can stop you from overcoming your problems and that day is not too far when you actually have a bunch of good female friends with whom you can speak your heart out.


2. Be friendly and relaxed. Let your body language speak for you.

Be friendly and relaxed. Let your body language speak for you.

It’s time that you stop worrying about what others might think about you. Be relaxed and friendly and use controlled body movements. If a person is nervous, it shows in his body movements. Do you fiddle with your watch, tap your feet or rub your hands together while talking? These gestures show that you are nervous and stressed out. Look calm and friendly. Begin by faking confidence, slowly you will gain it. It is hard at first, but it will be easier with the progress of time. You can even prepare and practise what you are going to say.


3.  Smile and spread smiles.

Smile and spread smiles

While talking to girls, try to keep a pleasant face. Maintain a smile on your face. Don’t let your fear creep in. Don’t stare at them, but always try to maintain eye contact. But let me remind you again, don’t ever be self conscious. Be natural. Listen to what she says and make her feel that you are interested in what she is saying. Don’t launch an uninterruptible speech on what you know, but speak when it demands on you. Give it time. Realise that you are not going to overcome the discomfort overnight. This is something that happens to everyone at some point of time. So don’t lose hold of yourselves, slowly work on it and take my word, you are going to be okay. It is only a matter of time.


4.  Dress good. Look good. Feel good. There you are!

Dress good. Look good. Feel good. There you are!

That dressing and appearance are elements that contribute to one’s confidence level are accepted by everyone. So try to boost your confidence by wearing clothes that you are confident in (don’t forget the comfort factor). You need not wear funky clothes/ branded suits that supposedly make you a ‘kwoool’ guy. Carry yourselves in a confident manner, what dress you wear is always secondary.  Choose a hairstyle that suits you. Look at the mirror, pat yourselves at your back and say, “Dude, you look smart today.” Think about the last time you did not go for the party because you were scared that the girl who stared at you in the class would talk to you? There is nothing that prevents you from going with your classmates to the fest today.


5.  Try to find out common topics of interest.

Try to find out common topics of interest.

What if she asks you about the T.V series that she is really crazy about and that you have never even heard about? What if you start talking about yesterday’s football match in which Arsenals swept off Manchester and curse your luck, football turns out to be the only sport that she hates? A total disaster. You will start feeling uncomfortable. “Am I a misfit?”To prevent such setbacks, you need to think about areas of interest that might make an interesting topic of discussion. May be you could start with comments on weather or a movie. Try not to bring up topics that you know nothing about. And despite all this, if she starts talking to you about the new online shoe store just smile and be a good listener. Girls love those who patiently listen to them!


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