This may sound counterintuitive at first, but the worst lies in our life are not the ones meant to deceive others, but rather those that we tell ourselves. You see, the problem with lying to yourself is that irrespective of how you try to rationalize the matter in a positive light, the negative thought process at the subconscious level tends to take charge without us even realizing it. The reason for this is that we sometimes mistake these pessimistic reflections for facts. Let’s find out what the most common self-lying thoughts that drag us down are.
1. My past always decides my future
It is no secret that there is not one person in the world who did not – at one point or another – commit an error of judgment. We all make mistakes, that’s a given but those mistakes should be utilized to learn new things about the world and people in particular. Therefore, the next time you find yourself contemplating on your past mistakes and thinking that you are doomed to repeat them, try to remember what you learned from your last unfortunate encounter. If you are able to discover just one new facet of the puzzle, you have acquired an additional shield against what the future has to throw at you.
2. Meeting new people is a waste of time
You may not believe it now, but the common grounds for all relationships consist of their ever-changing nature and the total randomness in terms of longevity. In other words, simply because you are friends with a person at this point, that does not necessarily imply that the relationship will pass the test of time. The personalities as well as the priorities of people frequently shift, so whether or not you will still be on the same page with someone you refer to as your best friend right now in 3-4 years is an irresolvable mystery. Therefore, don’t be afraid to get involved in relationships with new people when the opportunity arrives, but use your best judgment to determine if it’s worth it.
3. I shouldn’t take risks because there’s too much at stake
When you refrain from taking a certain risky action, you will be left wondering about what might have been for the rest of your life. More often than not, the force of the regret for the things we have left undone and/or unsaid overpowers the lament of having done something stupid. To put it simply, while this does not go to say that you shouldn’t jump into moving traffic, why not ask for that handsome stranger’s phone number next time you see him at the local pub?
4. My fortune will come around on its own time
History has recorded very few cases where inaction has sparked lucrative results and it is very improbable that you are going to be one of them. If you don’t take life into your own hands and become the architect of your personal aspirations, there is no reason to expect someone else to do it for you. It’s essentially like expecting a young tree that you never water or trim to grow into a mighty oak.
5. Failure is unacceptable for me
Without failure, there can be no progress and even the greatest minds who have revolutionized the world as we know it have failed numerous times. If you give up after your first unsuccessful attempt because you are frightened that you might fail again, then you stand to waste the opportunities that arise from that failure.
6. I can’t break away from those who hurt me
The perfect example for this consists of unhappy marriages and relationships that just keep going in spite of the fact that everybody can see they are completely dysfunctional. In this situation, there is always the abused person who is too afraid to break away from the abuser, but who cannot define the object of fear. Considering how short our lives are, there is no serious motive to remain involved in a relationship that doesn’t make you feel content and that only brings along pain.
7. My world is missing too much for me to be happy
Desire is one of the first reasons for unhappiness, as the Buddhist philosophy teaches us. People who have a propensity for focusing on the things they don’t have rather on the positive aspects of their life are bound to be discontent. Regardless of how much wealth they attain, they always want more and more, but sadly they don’t realize the error of their ways before they are on the deathbed. When you are ascending towards the mountaintop, you shouldn’t think about how far you still have to climb. Instead, contemplate about the distance you conquered so far.
8. The aspirations I have are simply beyond reach
This one is pretty common for those who are afraid to take risks and who end up on the easy – but significantly less satisfying – road because of it. However, this issue also emerges when we let the negative misconceptions of others guide our road in life. Remember, anything that is actually worth trying will always be difficult.
9. Unsuccessful relationship only bring pain and misery
Just like failure in general, unsuccessful relations can bring along important life lessons that can shape our character and personality. When you get involved in a relationship, you have no guarantee about the outcome aside from certain basic indicators and your judgment. Nobody says that you should prolong a dysfunctional relation for more than you have to, but try to understand the reasons why it didn’t work and the mistakes on your end.
10. There’s no way the future can bring good fortune for me
Luck is a relative concept that can have very different significations for every individual. Giving up after a series of unfortunate events and blaming your luck for it might seem easy at first, but it is also a completely wrong approach. After all, nobody has a perfect life, but some of us learn how to adapt and take the blows gracefully rather than moping around and wallowing in self pity.