Because the global economy has taken a wrong turn (at least) and it might require several years before it actually recovers, people nowadays are doing everything in their power to cut down the expenses and cope with the burden of debt and increasing bills. And what better way to learn more about how you too can put some money aside for the rainy days than the internet? While some guides provide useful information and promote reasonable techniques that can actually be applied in practice, some self-proclaimed gurus offer really terrible advice. Sure, desperate times call for desperate measures…but some measures are just mind-boggling to say the least. Let’s elaborate.
1. People will pay to see your body rot naturally
Believe it or not, some individuals are fascinated with death and corpses as well as the natural decomposition process and are willing to pay a hefty sum to enjoy this “dazzling” spectacle. Boy, and people are still paying a small fortune for embalming their deceased loved ones only to bury them a couple of days after. Those poor suckers!
2. Make your own feminine hygiene products
Personally, I’m all for finding solutions for a green and sustainable future. However, I’m also pretty sure that making your own feminine hygiene products that you can use for years to come is not the answer mankind was searching for to save this planet.
3. Separating the layers of your toilet paper helps you save an amazing sum of…
…10 whole dollars per year! Wow, can you imagine just how many things you can do with that kind of money? Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but in order to enjoy this incredible amount of cash you need to spend at least 8 hours on separating the two plies on a daily basis. That’s OK, you’ll be able to save a heck of a lot of cash for your retirement days in the meanwhile! Or will you?
4. Finally you can achieve your lifelong dream of becoming the Hobo King
If you always dreamed on an exotic vacation but simply didn’t manage to save enough cash to pay for the entire trip, then I have the “perfect” solution for you: take advantage of the amazing accommodations provided by international airports all across the world. By financing your plane ticket only, you will be able to have the trip of your lifetime and possibly come back home with some cash. Accommodations solved, but about the food? No worries, there are plenty of supermarkets and events where you can enjoy free samples.
5. Why bother with quality dental plans, when you can always visit a Mexican dentist
Are you foolish enough to pay the monthly premium to those fats cats in the dental industry? Why spend hundreds of dollars on a dental insurance plan when you could get off with less than one hundred by visiting a dentistry cabinet in Tijuana? Gasoline price/airplane ticket for the trip to Mexico and back not included.
6. If you’re jealous of your dog
Have you notice how much fun your dog is having while playing in the snow just because it isn’t cold? His secret resides in the fur. Therefore, stop spending so much cash on the cotton or wool sweaters you find in shops! You could easily brush your dog more often, gather the follicles and knit yourself a nice, warm and comfy jersey for the cold season. Rest assured, you’ll be the envy of the neighborhood.
7. Who can say no to an adorable plush toy filled with your lint?
If you’re having a hard time finding a present for your kids this holidays, then forget about getting them expensive gifts like an Xbox or a doll house. A far better idea would be to offer them a fun, plush toy stuffed with the entire family’s lint. And, since there’s plenty of it – now that you know the perfect solution to saving about 25% of the household income – you can start gathering lint the very next day to fix your old saggy mattress as well. Suddenly, I feel this urge to visit the homes of the people who suggested this! Said no one ever.
8. Wearing clean clothes is just a scam orchestrated by washing machines manufacturers
Attending to your personal hygiene and washing your clothes regularly has nothing to do with the self-esteem. In fact, cleanliness is just part of the greatest scam in human history, as thanks to a bunch of visionaries you too can live perfectly well wearing clothes fragranced by your own musk and other substances you come across each day. Smelling fabulous and saving money at the same time, what more could a man ask for?
Since a third of the monthly budget is “wasted” on food, some people came up with a brilliant idea that could save you a ton of cash: find one day of the week when you’re doing practically nothing and mark it as a non-eating day. It will do wonders for your silhouette and your body will thank you for it with a healthy dose of irritability. And, if your irascibility gets out of control and you suddenly feel the need to punch someone, at least you don’t have to worry about being sued as you’re too weak to cause any serious damage.
10. Yummy…DIY cat food
With prices getting higher every day, nothing was spared, including cat food. Seriously, who would dare to purchase cat food from the supermarket, now that its price is almost 70 cents per can? Since you obviously cannot afford to spend that much on it, it means that you only have one solution: making the cat food yourself. Don’t worry if you’re new to this, as there are numerous sites out there to offer you tips and recipes so you can prepare an exquisite meal for your kitty. Oh, in case you can’t find your cat during the next few days, it’s not because it’s wary of your reasons to poison it. The real reason is that Mr. Fluffins is busy clearing his agenda for all the Molly sweethearts he has invited over for dinner.