It is entirely true that men can take a bit more verbal and behavioral abuse than women and overall, they tend to deal with disappointments easier. Having said that, there is a threshold that should not be crossed, because no matter how “ruff” a guy seems on the exterior, he is still vulnerable to the mistreatment of the people he loves and particularly his life partner. In other words, while the insults of a stranger or an acquaintance brush right off, the opinion of the most important person in his life really matters and the “wounds” run deep.
Let’s find out the top 10 things you ladies should refrain from telling your partner.
1. Complementing the charm of one of his friends
The fact that men are always in competition with each other is no longer a secret, so telling your partner that you find one of his male friends absolutely charming or stunning is a huge mistake, particularly if he lacks any of those qualities. In spite of your attraction for that person, you should always avoid making comments that could lead him to believe his is less of a man and feed his innate insecurity. The only acceptable complements concern traits that both him and his friend share and you would still be threading on thin ice.
2. Forcing him to accept failure in a critical aspect of his life and surrender
Due to the traditionally accepted role of breadwinners, men are naturally competitive in aspects like the career and their moneymaking ability. Therefore, even if he is going through a rough patch, you should never blame him or force him to accept defeat, because it might just be the killing blow that makes him give up completely. Failure after failure after failure is what eventually triggers the midlife crisis and it doesn’t help him to hear you confirm it.
3. The ‘ex’ comparison
Before you start reminiscing about the good times you had with your ex partner out loud, keep in mind that men dread these kinds of comparisons. Remember that if things worked out so great with your ex, then you would probably still be together, right? It is tolerable to compliment your current partner by comparison to your former one, but never the other way around. Also, it is probably a good idea to refrain completely from discussing your former sexual affairs and evaluate “you know which” body parts.
4. Asking him to introduce you to a male friend of his
If it’s not a famous artist or musician that you admire and who just happens to be a friend of your partner, never ever ask him to make the introductions. Things are even worse if you appear extremely excited about the other person, not to mention the situation when you publicly flirt with him right in front of your partner. Chances are you’ll end up walking home by yourself if he has the car keys.
5. Insulting him in public
As previously mentioned, men can accept some verbal abuse but don’t underestimate the dimensions of their ego. To put it simply, the image that other people have of him is quite important, so you should not do anything to “emasculate” your partner in public. In addition, the only way to make things worse is to humiliate him in the company of his friends and/or family.
6. Minimizing his qualities compared to previous boyfriends
Just like comparing current partner with the previous one, stating out loud that the other people you have dated were considerably better than he is means taking your relationship on sure path to separation. Instead of complaining about his sexual prowess or the fact that he is not exciting enough, try to address the issues together and discuss the problems in a mature way. That is, of course, if you intend to continue being together.
7. Turning down his help offer every time
Men have a natural nurturing instinct for their partner, which makes them feel unwanted or undesirable when you refuse their help on a regular basis. Even though you consider yourself an independent and self-sufficient person in general, you need to acknowledge the fact being in a relationship is different from being single. He is not trying to earn sexual favors by offering assistance and even if he is, that’s not exactly a bad thing, now is it? Your refusal will just make your partner believe that you consider him incapable of handling even simple tasks.
8. Accusing him of immaturity
Telling a guy that he’s behaving immaturely is one of the most annoying things ever, mainly because it means you are acting like his mother. True, he will cease having fun and become as quiet and sober as though he was at a funeral, but he will built resent for your attempt to control him. It is highly probable that he will stop having fun with you and start doing the “immature” things that he enjoys behind your back, maybe even with someone else whom he considers more outgoing.
9. Telling him that he’s too insecure
Everyone feels insecure sometimes, especially when we notice that a more attractive person is engaged in an exciting conversation with our partner. However, if you tell your guy that you consider him jealous and insecure, there is only one way the argument can end. To put it simply, he will attempt to show you just how secure he is by encouraging you to talk to more people of the opposite sex, while he does the same. It won’t be long until this little daring contest turns into a full blown argument.
10. Starting a serious conversation with the dreaded “we have to talk” phrase
This stereotypical phrase is never a good icebreaker, particularly if you intend to conduct a serious conversation about your relationship and fix some of the problems. Because it will only determine your partner to enter a defensive stance and simply counteract everything you say rather than listen to your point of view and communicate effectively, never start a conversation with “we have to talk”. Instead, approach him from a different – casual if possible – angle and gradually take the discussion on the right path.