Divorce (or the dissolution of marriage) is the termination of a marital union, the cancelling of the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and the dissolving of the bonds of matrimony between a married couple. Divorce can be a stressful experience affecting finances, living arrangements, household jobs, schedules and more. If the family includes children, they may be deeply affected. Countries like Philippines and Vatican City do not allow divorce. The legal process of divorce may involve issues of alimony ( spousal support), child custody, child support, distribution of property and division of debt. Divorce effects academics, and psychological behaviour. Studies have shown that children from divorced families are more likely to exhibit such behavioural issues than those from non-divorced families. Divorce can have a positive effect on families due to less conflict in the home. There are many instances where the parent-child relationship may suffer due to divorce. When an adult goes through divorce, financial support is lost many-a-times. The adult may be obligated to obtain additional work to maintain financial stability. This can also lead to negative relationship between the parents and the child. Studies also show that parental skills also decreases after a divorce. This article mainly focuses on the pros and cons of a divorce.
1. Overcoming sadness :
Believe in whatever bad happened will healed by time. List everything in your life you are thankful for to be happy. Put some humor in your life!. Learn to laugh at yourself or rent your favourite funny videos. Try to make some plans with your friends. Don’t expect too much of yourself. Face the things that you are dreading. Buy yourself or someone a gift. Get some exercise. When you exercise, your body makes more special chemicals called endorphins that help to improve your mood. Think of all beautiful moments that happened especially to you.
2. Becoming happier :
No matter how you feel, you can survive, and will, if you keep a positive attitude, as you go ahead alone. Make happiness your primary concern no matter who is to blame. You are not the first person to be divorced and will not be the last. Go forward and do things you have always wanted to look forward to the future.
3. Finding a more suitable partner :
Divorce is one of those life events that forces huge changes in you life whether you like it or not. Moving on after divorce, no matter how strong a person you are, is challenging. You are alone inn your own head every day with a range of emotions- anger, relief, humiliation, depression and fear. You are confused and overwhelmed at the same moment. Choose the right and don’t feel sad. It’s best to avoid anchoring yourself into relationships with friends and family who are still telling you that you shouldn’t have gotten a divorce. You need to learn how to date again unless you were only married for a very short while. Don’t wait for the perfect one but don’t settle fir the wrong one. A new relationship is a new chapter in your life.
4. Financial strains :
Divorce is not only an emotionally trying experience, but it can be financially devastating one, as well. A divorce itself will have significant financial impacts, as well as living alone or having to pay for child-care or support. There are also serious financial implications of a divorce. Alimony itself may not be sufficient to compensate for the new financial challenges after a divorce. The earning of the family gets reduced if the spouse had no job experience or is incapable of getting a well paying job. Especially if the children are small, they too need proper care, and with a single parent to left with them, it becomes difficult to go out of home to earn a living with full-time employment. The expenses of a divorce are unlikely to deter a couple that truly needs to split. The first financial burden is the separation of one household into two.
5. Being alone :
You will have significantly more time alone, which can be both an advantage and a disadvantage. If you have outgrown your relationship you might be more true to your current authentic self by deciding to go your own way and split. Feeling lonely is a common reaction after a divorce. Even when you have children with you, it’s not the same as having a partner present. Parents in this stage find themselves having trouble concentrating and sleeping. One of the dangers of this stage is pushing friends away. The whole focus at this time is to keep busy that you won’t have time to experience feeling alone or sad. New interests and hobbies are frequently discovered at this point. You are able to be content by yourself. You don’t require someone else’s presence to make you happy. You are unique and independent person.
6. Making new friends :
As a couple you will have shared friends, other couples and other families with children. Often after a divorce, some or even many of those friends will be more friends of either you or your former partner. One of the challenges will specifically be to make new single friends for the times you want to go out without your children. The first step to moving on after divorce is to make new friends. Go alone to events where you will meet people who have gone through what you have gone through and events where you will meet people who have the same hobby as you.
7. Affect your lifestyle :
8. Children suffers the most :
Parental alienation occurs in at least 60% of divorce cases. Parents who aren’t able to put their kids first during divorce let their kids down. Children are far worse off financially, educationally and emotionally than at times when parents stay together. Children will end up having to choose one parent that they are to live with, which will dramatically change the role of the other parent. While getting a divorce, you should always take into consideration of the child’s needs, you need to share equal time with the child and always be there for them when they need you for educational help, or even if they are under emotional stress. Just because it is a divorce doesn’t mean that the ex-spouses can’t be friends for the sake of the child. It can cause serious psychological impacts to the children unless you can find a way to make sure the child is safe. Although it has the benefit of freedom for a divorcee, it means nothing if your child has trauma from the experience. Children (and adult children) have the attitude that their parents should be able to work through and solve any issue. For a child, divorce shatters the basic safety and belief concerning the parents abilities to care for them and to make decisions that truly consider their well being. Kids whose parents divorce are substantially more likely to be incarcerated for committing a crime as a juvenile. Teens from divorced homes are much more likely to engage in drug and alcohol use.
9. Household tension is gone :
Parents usually fight a lot when they are on the long road to divorce. When divorce actually happens though, the fighting decreases significantly, due to the fact that both the sides are finally separated. This means that the household tension is gone. People just feel free to do whatever they want as they don’t have to deal with their husband or wife anymore. So, they will be able to do whatever they want to do again, the things before they were married. Your ex-spouse’s point of view doesn’t matter to you anymore. No matter how much effort is put into keeping anger out of the divorce process, it is normal to feel a certain amount of anger. When parents divorce, children feel a lack of control. They have no voice in whether or not their family stays together. Fights between the parents may lead to adverse effects on the kids.
10. Divorce splits the family :
Divorce not only leads to termination of marriage but it also leads to the splitting of the family. The parents get separated and it also have adverse effects on the kids. The kids have to forcefully choose one amongst the two parents. Even if the kids want to stay with both the parents, but as per the law, the kid have to compulsorily choose one parent. Family holidays and outings are also effected due to separation of the parents. It is essential for the kids to have love, care, support from both the parents but after divorce, relationship between the parents is shattered and it also have various effects on the kid’s life too. Divorce also leads to single parenthood on children. The parents move to different houses, dividing every single thing, which they once shared. The sense of statbility and security is also lost in the relationship.
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