Most people stumble through life going from one relationship to another without stopping to take the time to perceive who they are as individuals. It’s easy losing yourself as ‘part’ of a ‘whole’ in a relationship. But what can trump the joy of being free as a bird and untethered, all the while being complete in yourself! As it is rightly said,
‘The worst thing in the world isn’t being alone. It’s being surrounded by people that make you feel like you’re alone’.
Being alone, doesn’t mean you’re a loner, nor does it reek of the desperation we associate with those long time single. Quite to the contrary, it can sing of independence, free spirit and be the gateway to all freedom. It begins with not being defined by another person. Here’s a few reasons that point out how being alone can be fun and a breath of fresh air.
1. No breakups.
Let’s face it. Relationships end. With the relationship failure rate being over 80%. More often than not you’re likely to find Mr. Wrong than Mr. Right. Being alone means not having to face the emotional upheaval and agony breakups bring. Furthermore you skip the few extra pounds you would put on as you attempt to eat the pain away post breaking up. Binging on pints of ice cream, pizzas’ and other high calorie comfort food you would normally stray away from. You also tend to avoid the sleeplessness and stress induced hair loss breakups bring. So stay unattached, single and avoid the stress and duress messy breakups tend to bring.
2. Makes you a stronger person.
Being alone brings with it solitude and sees you frequently fighting your own battles. Without the love, support and counsel of those close to your heart. Although this may seem a daunting task at first, it strengthens your character, reinforces your will and tests your resolve in a way that you then possess the zeal to overcome any difficulty life may throw at you. This comes over time after being deprived of the emotional support from loved ones you develop a hardened exterior and a go getter attitude by fighting for yourself, all by yourself.
‘Single is not a status, it is a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.’
3. Easy on the Pocket.
Has anyone noticed how much money you save by not dating? Dates can be pricey. Especially if you’re looking to impress your lady via fine wining and dining. Wouldn’t it be a lot easier on the pocket if you weren’t always springing for two? As for the ladies it gives you a chance to be financially independent. So you now stand up for feminism and pay for yourself. You are also spared the hassles of splurging on your partner for weekly or monthly anniversaries with expensive gifting, weekend trips, movie dates and what not. Guys can avoid the dreary moments spent in credit card debt on finding out their girl has charged her shopping expeditions, hair and nails to your card.
4. You’re perfect, just the way you are!
‘Should I buy this outfit I love or will my partner dislike it?’ or ‘Boo hoo my boyfriend thinks I’m fat!’
One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger. But they will never be You. Don’t change so people will like you. Gone are the days of endless worrying and nervousness about what your partner, his parents or friends may think of you. The only opinion that really matters is your own. So, shop for what you’re comfortable in, eat what you want. You can live life by your own rules and don’t need to spend time and effort conforming to someone else’s idea of perfection. Be yourself and the right people will love you, and you’ll love yourself more too.
5. Me time.
You get to kick back, relax and give your undivided attention to your most faithful companion- Yourself. It gives you well needed time to care of yourself rather than concentrating your energies on your partner. Be it a day at the spa, working on your tan or spending the weekend camped on the couch with beer and chicken wings watching sports on Xbox live. It’s all about you, without having to feel selfish or guilty. You can use the extra time to take up a new hobby. Be it those ballet lessons you’ve always wanted to try or fitness along with learning self-defense with krav maga. For those of you stuck in the rut of mundane tasks and looking for a career change could enroll for new courses at the community college. Sky’s the limit!
6. No clingy, possessive, jealous partner hounding you.
You can now hang out with your girl or guy friends without frantic calls from your jealous, suspicious partner enquiring who you’re with. Gone are the days when you see 20 missed calls and dread a long and painful confrontation with your irate partner, after spending the day away from your phone. You can now take the time, a day, a week, shun technology should you prefer. Go off on your own, meditate, hike along a nature trail. You can afford to be reclusive without seeming antisocial and spend quality time to reflect. Just you and your thoughts.
7. Uncluttered head space.
Being in a relationship is like doing a degree course on your partner. You memorize their likes and dislikes, including her favourite ice cream or what toppings he prefers on his pizza, her first childhood pet Fluffy or his favourite great aunt Rita. Endless other trivial information that becomes redundant in the event of a break up. As a single person your mind is free of the infinite insignificant details, be it anniversary dates, or your partner’s dental appointments and instead, is open to explore the depths of your own subconscious. Introspect and discover hitherto unforeseen realities about yourself.
8. Meet new people.
You can now engage the tall dark handsome persona you meet and keep your options open, instead of reminding yourself of your commitment to your partner and walking away. Being unattached brings you the freedom of having a varied social life without the constraints of a relationship. Often after a spell of bad relationships this is the very way you may end up shedding your inhibitions and opening up to possibilities of a new friendship or romance.
9. There ain’t no one who’s gonna put you down.
Relationships can be taxing especially during fights, disagreements or arguments. This is intensified tenfold should you happen to have a partner who is mentally and emotionally or even physically abusive. Afterall, being single is better than being lied to, cheated on and disrespected. Being by yourself, your mood never has to depend on how someone else is feeling or the effect someone else has on you. You are responsible for just your own happiness. So go ahead and sing along,
‘Then there ain’t no one who’s gonna put you down’ -‘Off the Wall’ by MJ.
10. Me, myself and my life.
No more hesitation next time you are offered a great job that has you move halfway across the country. For you have just your own career to think about. As opposed to making joint plans for two. Your future plans and ambitions aren’t tied to your partners’. You are independent socially and financially. So whether it’s you bringing home a pet from the pound or deciding to take a long soul searching trip abroad ‘Eat Pray Love’ style, you only have its implications on your own life to ponder upon.