Friends are very special people in our life. These are the first people we think about whenever we make plans. First people we go to whenever we need someone to talk to. These are the people whom we will phone just to talk about nothing or may be about the most important things of our life. People around whom we can be ourselves and do crazy stuff, without worrying that they might judge us. Friends are the people we can always trust. People who will try their hardest to cheer us up whenever we are sad. With them it feels like they will be the ones who will be with us forever, no matter what !
But is that always the case? Sadly, No. Sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes, when friends grow, they grow apart and there really isn’t a good reason as to why. It just happens, so gradually, that they don’t even realize that it has been days since they talked to their best buddy. In today’s world, where everyone is too busy and occupied in their own lives, BFF (Best Friends Forever) seems outdated.
Following are some of the possible reasons that sometimes friends, even the best of the buddies, drift apart.
1. Communication gap : Different Colleges Or Workplaces
This is a very common reason why friends drift apart despite being in a big beautiful love filled friendship. Once two friends enter the different colleges or join different jobs (sometimes even end up in different cities), friendship gradually tends to fade, not because they want it to end, but because now they don’t get to hangout together and involve in silly things as much as they used to do before. Also isn’t it a heartbreaking fact that when we make new friends, we usually tend to forget the previous ones, unintentionally i would add.
2. Focus On Other (Important?) Things
As people embark on careers, start families, take on more responsibilities, it becomes difficult for them to spend the same amount of time with their friends as they used to do before. Their priorities change with time, and they become more selective about how and where to use their precious time. Though howsoever mean it looks in writing, we can’t deny the fact that this is a natural part of life, and, in no way, wrong. The important thing here is to stay in contact with friends through regular phone calls (at least weekly or monthly), planning trips with families and friends together and not forgetting to wish friends on their special days (birthdays, wedding anniversary etc.).
Friends generally are not very comfortable with the idea of their best buddy being in relationship with someone who will eventually get closer to his/her heart than they are. It is often very frustrating for friends to see the boyfriend/girlfriend of their best buddy often eating all the time that they were supposed to spend together. And hanging out together, along with the partner of their best buddy, also doesn’t seem a nice idea, as they often feel left out on such “dates” and rather feel very uncomfortable as they don’t know the other person too well.
This usually happens when the two friends are following the same career path and are almost equally skilled. It is common to develop a feeling of competitiveness with your friend. While a healthy competition often helps you improve your skills, at the same time getting all mean and selfish to “defeat” your own friend brings negativity in the relationship. The friendship often gets spoiled because of too much competitiveness and a feeling of jealousy and hatred takes over.
While it is common among friends to get into small petty fights from time to time; big disputes, arguments and loss of trust could cause friendships to break up. Sometimes friends mistakenly or unintentionally reveal their best friends’ secrets and put themselves in tough situation. At times friends tend to believe other people more than their best buddy. Sometimes friends may misinterpret each other’s’ words, that might lead to unnecessary fight among them. In all these cases, it becomes really important for friends to trust each other and try to resolve the issue without letting their ego come in between their friendship.
6. Jealous Of Each Other’s New Friends
Even when two friends luckily get to enter the same college or happen to get placed at the same workplace, this is the problem that often arises and affects the friendship. It is natural to feel jealous and develop a feeling of insecurity when you see your best buddy, who won’t leave you for even a second in school, making new friends in the college and hanging out with them. One of the friends may feel left out in the new group of friends and tend to keep himself away from the group. In such cases, it is important for a friend that he introduces his old friend to the group as his “best” friend so that he doesn’t end up feeling out of the place.
7. People Change (So Do Friends)
We change as we mature, and so do our friends. What we enjoy as children may not stay same through adolescence and adulthood. Our likes, dislikes and tastes change more often than we realize. And in the process, our interests and our behavior might even start to differ from that of our friends. It is quite a possibility that someone who is very mischievous as a child might end up being very responsible as an adult. Often friends find it hard to believe when they see that their best buddy and their partner in all pranks has become a different being and is no longer the same person they had that bonding with.
8. Too Big To Say Sorry
Sometimes friends unintentionally hurt each other, but because of their ego, do not apologize, instead they keep putting it off and stop talking to each other. Apologies don’t need to be dramatic in order to be effective but they do need to be timely and sincere. It is important that whenever a friendship becomes bumpy, friends should try to make things work and patch up again.
9. Parental Pressure
Parents are very protective of their children and always want them to be in a good company. To ensure this, parents sometimes don’t even hesitate to ask their children to leave their “bad” friends and be with someone who is more smart, more sincere and more responsible. And no matter how much the kid likes his best buddies, sometimes he has to give in and stop talking to them, because of the parental pressure. Heartbreaking, right? Well, who is going to tell the parents that it is their kid, and not his best buddy, who is the real badass of the street and mastermind behind all the pranks!
10. No Reason To Keep In Touch Anymore
One of the strange rather harsh reasons that friends lose touch with each other is because they have no reason to stay in contact anymore! I know it sounds bitter, but it is the truth in many a cases. Friends may sometimes feel like they are having better time with someone else and that they no longer miss their old best friend. They start feeling that there is no longer anything to talk about and anything to share with their old friend. They stop caring about them while moving on in their lives. Sometimes one of the friends also starts believing that s/he is better than the other. All such feelings eventually lead to bitterness in the friendship.