Hey, you have your kid moving out and you don’t know how to deal with it?? You have landed at the right place! Kids want to see a change in every walk of their lives. They grow up with the feeling that change is a way of life. They have this thought that everything new becomes a trend. Kids hate being restricted(This is IMPORTANT!). First of all, parents, stop ruling over your kids. In today’s generation, kids are exposed to a wider part of world than their parents. They get to observe a lot of happenings with their friends, family and strangers too. Few thoughts grow stronger in their mind.
It’s not a crime when kids move out to plan their lives the way they want. There is a necessity of counseling from parents when a wrong decision is taken by your child. Make it your first point never to bounce on your kids when they are wrong. Just make them realize their mistake and the rest leave it to them. It’s high time you parents realize that your child is growing older day by day. Appreciate your kid when he/she is right which is a huge encouragement for them. Major reason for kids moving out is their feeling of lack of freedom. They just want everything to happen the way they want. Don’t let your kids blame you to be outdated. Sometimes it happens that something far seems more interesting than what they have and this is when kids move out. As parents, stop fearing this. It’s just a part of life.
Here are few tips that can help you to deal with your kids moving out.
1. Unconditional love!
This unconditional love makes parents be over protective about their kids. Don’t let this be a reason to stop your kid from what he/she is doing. It just should not matter where they are to love them. Don’t keep calling them which makes them feel uncomfortable. The best way to communicate is by dropping in e-mails every night. Call them once a week or so. This allows them to give you a better picture about the changes around them. A good communication is essential but don’t make it too obvious. It will not be easy for the kid to stay away from you initially. You should make sure he/she feels safe in the new place. This is when the kid understands and enjoys your unconditional love!
2. Take up new interest.
Once you have set your kid to walk on the right path, it’s time for you to take up things that you always wanted to do but never could. Take up new hobbies. Work to build a new career for yourself. Set your standards high because this is when you get enough time for yourself. Utilize it to the maximum. Restart your career by picking up where you had left off. Realize that even though you’re ‘rusty’, you have the advantage of experience. Start off with a little pre learning. Doing something positive in your free time can be very much fulfilling. This not only will keep you occupied but also prevent you from constantly filling your mind with worries and calling up your kid every next second.
3. Get yourself occupied.
Don’t let your mind wander here and there once your child moves out. This is when you feel all left alone. Worries start building up which is not safe. Remember it’s time to take care of yourself. If your mind does not seem to listen to you then don’t hesitate to visit your counselor. Get yourself busy by making new friends. This helps you to share your grief and not pile them up in you. Be a part of family occasions regularly. Build up a daily routine in such a way that you have no time to sit idle. With all this, no unwanted thoughts can harm your living while your kid lives happy away.
4. Make arrangements.
Say your kid wants to move out because he/she wants to stay closer to the university to pursue good higher education, don’t stop them just because you parents can’t stay without them. It’s not the way to deal with it. You must be proud with your kid’s strong and bold decision. It’s difficult for them too just as you parents suffer but when it comes to their career your kids just don’t want to compromise. They always want to stand ahead of others and it makes their path easy when their parent’s support them. So know well your child’s choices. You take the first step in searching a good place for them to live. Make arrangements for their necessities and comforts. This is also a trick to keep a good track of what your child is doing though he/she is away from you.
5. Parents-Be Updated!
Stop thinking in the way your generation used to think. Update yourself to the new surroundings. Make it a point to know things before your child. Eliminate what is known as generation gap between you and your kid. This is when restrictions become less and understandings become more. If this is well taken care off, then there might not be a chance left for your kid to move out except for education purpose. Don’t just keep ordering your kid what he/she has to do. Give everything a small break to get things right.
6. Support Financially.
Sometimes it happens that your kid wants to move out on certain good reasons. It’s very obvious that the first ones for him/her to approach is parents. If you are your child’s first hope then do nourish it. Don’t allow your child to take any other ways to make money. This can crumple your child’s future. Support them with the money necessary for their living which makes the kid also feel secure. This gives a better chance for the good development of your child.
7. Boost up their self-confidence.
It is important for the parents to know the confidence level of their kid’s decision. As parents, it is of highest concern to understand the child’s thoughts and the reason behind that confidence in their decisions. Encourage them and promote their confidence. Bring in a feel of your understanding of their thoughts which makes them take decisions and work better towards their goals. A good amount of self confidence makes your child feel more comfortable and strong.
8. Don’t make it an issue!
Stop making things big which is absolutely unnecessary. Don’t involve friends, neighbors or relatives into such matters which is dangerous. This can lead to people telling all unnecessary things without they knowing what the condition in your house is. Don’t make people speak about something they are not concerned of. Don’t let a chance for some random person to come up to your kid and question. It makes your child feel uncomfortable and the impact is faced by you.
9. Discussion- A NEED.
As parents you have to know the reason behind your kid’s decision. Just saying a ‘NO’ does nothing. Walk along with them. Get to know their priorities in life. Make sure you know very well about their future plans. Give some time to listen to what they have to say. Don’t conclude with anything quickly. Think twice on your decisions before imposing them on your child. Discuss with your child what your thoughts are as parents.
10. Keep emotions to yourself!
Emotion is a contagious disease. Parents, stop bursting out into tears when your kid comes up to say he/she wants to move out. It’s nothing wrong. You might be disturbing their decisions. Accept the situation boldly after a good discussion with your kid with the step he/she wants to take. Don’t create a scene at that moment. Without your knowledge you will be creating a bad impression on yourself in your child’s eye. Keep it simple and not the filmy type.