“I am so sorry! I dint mean it. Hey, please don’t take it serious huh! Dude…I was just kidding!” No one can hold back themselves without using these phrases. They have become part of our lives. Sometimes we hurt people knowingly or unknowingly. So it is good that we should have some limitations for everything no matter whatever it is. Just remember losing good people is easy but getting them for lifetime is difficult. Here are top 10 ways you unknowingly hurt someone.
As mentioned earlier it is due to over love and care. This is generally seen between lovers and newly married couples. The husband or wife thinks that they are made for each other. Until now it is fine but they go further and start believing that they are only for each other and no where connected to the word. This is also fine because both think the same, but the actual problem starts when only one feels like this and other doesn’t. The husband has his social life so as wife if she sacrifices and be as a housewife it doesn’t mean that he should do the same or vice verse. Here they get possessive and hurt each other unknowingly. That leads to breakups etc. Hence passiveness is the soul cause of all this. This is even seen in friendship if you are a over possessive friend you control your other friend unknowingly she/he is helpless they are adjusted to you. So this is how you might hurt your own buddy unknowingly.
2. Involuntary physical movements:
This happens every day in your life, now this does not hurt psychologically but it hurts physiologically. You get up suddenly and stamp some one’s leg it is not done purposefully but still you end up hurting them physically. In same way in many games, you are playing and you will hit the ball very hard it hurts the opponent team mate she/gets injured or hurt. It is part of the game but still without your conscience you hurt them. There is no one in this world that might have hurt people in this way. It happens in everyday life, at streets, home, college, game field, roads, anywhere! It is very hard to get rid of it. And the usage of smileys and exclamations, the emoticons speak better than texts. Exclamations can convey that you are harsh, rude and stubborn! Even the short forms is misunderstood as well. You never know how this much happening medium can affect others. The only way in which you can resolve these problems are maintain and follow some etiquette of cyber/text language.
3. Wrong texts and phone calls:
This happens very often. For instance you had a big fight with our friend and you come back home you know that it was only because of you. So you take textual medium to resolve your problem. First you type something and then you realize that is not needed but unknowingly you send that message and the receiver your friend is disappointed to see a text like that from you. The worst part is you still do not know that you have sent it.This ends up hurting your friend. And one more thing usage of language. We use harsh language in text compared to any other. And you end up hurting just by using capital letters. Yes! Usage of capital is offensive and rude when it comes to cyber language and text language.
4. Over love:
You might have seen many films based on this concept. Over love leads to “possessiveness” which will be detailed in Top 1 reason. If you over love someone it leads to the agony and irritation. You never know what do you do when you over love and you start ruling them and that makes you beloved to lose their individuality and hurts them big time. The best example is a film in Telugu “Bommarillu” starring Siddarth where the father Prakash raj love his son to the core and starts ruling siddu’s life and career, in that way the son can’t go against his father and can’t adjust with what father says as well. The father hurts the son unknowingly with over love and care. There so many real stories among st which this film was inspired from.
5. Taking it for granted:
Never take anyone for granted. Each one has their personal lives and dreams. This kind of perception that they are fine with whatever you do and taking them for granted is not at all healthy in either way. For instance you are going for a party thinking that your best friends will join you. But it is your courtesy to call them or else they will surely be hurt. And this TFG also relates to ignorance you might have multiple friend gangs. Make sure that you won’t mix them up if so then give equal importance and priority to each of them.
6. Not understanding the situation:
For instance your friend is mentally disturbed; it is your responsibility to console her/him. But there is a way for it. Do not talk about the incident that happened and maker him/her remember again. Talk general and give moral support. Give a suggestion not an order, always try to understand situation, you just can’t blame him/her about the mistake or shout! Understand them and divert them for a while, then talk to them calmly and make them understand. If you just go and analyse the problem and start preaching it hurts them still more. Your intention is to make them understand but that situation does not support what you are exactly trying to do.
Might sound like the above one but it is not. We speak so many things and majority communicate in numerous ways. Each has their own talking style and the para language as well. Sarcasm is an art of talking, but remembers all cannot understand it and all cannot take it as well, only the one who are sportive can bear it. Example: If you’re best friend come to you and ask about her hair style. Just tell it frankly it is good/bad/suiting etc but never be sarcastic it really hurts, it’s just like your over exaggerated fake comment in the name of sarcasm. It really hurts them a lot; once he/she has respected you and valued your opinion you just can’t try to be cool and sarcastic.Weigh the context and react.
8. Over joking:
Jokes are the refreshers of our life. Entertainment is always remembered and it always pays. Sometimes teasing is also considered as a kind of joke. Here again the limit factor comes into the scene. So you might hurt by over joking. For example: Never criticize on physical disabilities your friend may be dwarf/height , thin/fat, never make fun of it. Once in a while it is fun but too much fun is too bad. So just think thrice before you make fun of others. Crack a joke in a subtle way.
9. Short tempered:
It is most often seen thing. You are short tempered and you can’t get rid of it. But never show your short tempered nature to anyone, sometime for no reason you get angry, it is not your mistake because you are by nature like that. But you can’t carry that attitude as well. Your short tempered nature hurts many people around you. You might have reason to get out of your temper but that doesn’t mean that others should dwell with you. They get hurt a lot initially and finally there are chances of losing the good relationship.
10. Straight forwardness:
It is always good to be straight forward and firm at your decisions. Instead of cribbing or back biting later it is good to be frank and to the point . But remember it again depends on the context; sometimes it is good to control your emotions. For example if your friend fails because of her inefficiency you can’t pin point your friend’s mistakes. Take time chill out, cheer them and tell them later. The more straight forward in nature you are the more aggressive and harsh the body language seems to be. Remember the biggest game in your life is to deal people and society intelligently. Always being straightforward is not commendable.
Conclusion: No matter what just don’t be too much attached to anyone or too much affectionate. Maintain a moderate relationship with everyone , in that way you will neither hurt someone nor hurt by someone!