My best friend Judy is the life of every party she goes to. Being easy to approach, expressive and enthusiastic, she makes friends easily. She loves going out with friends (that are countless), as social outings are her energizers. Being the top debater in college and having a warm and outgoing personality, she is always the hot topic and I have seen many following her actions. But well she belongs to the group of people of 1 personality called the extroverts, but then there is the category of introverts who are quite different if not opposite from extroverts. Remember, though, that no one is ever a complete introvert or a complete extrovert. Introverts do attend parties, go out hang out with friends and extroverts curl up with their favorite books, like quite time and have few friends. As the psychologist Carl Jung put it, “There is no such thing as a pure extrovert or a pure introvert. Such a man would be in the lunatic asylum.”
Though one should never confuse between an introvert and a shy person, a shy person is just nervous to open up about himself at the beginning. Introverts are people who like being alone as it energize them. We have few introverts around us in our classrooms; in offices etc. one can easily spot an introvert:
1. The Loner?
Introverts aren’t anti social people, they just thrive in solitude. That clearly doesn’t mean that they are “a loner”. They like the company of their few friends. As they are generally involved in reading or in projects they like to share their findings and achievements with those few people only. True they like lonely time, at times they’ll even shut out their family and best of friends, but that’s just temporary. Try not to judge them on this basis and term them as “ill” or “antisocial”.
2. Easily distracted
Introverts like to focus on one thing at a given time; they like to perfect that job. They don’t prefer multitasking. They’ll rather have the expertise on one thing than trying to do everything. Introverts get easily distracted too, but in the different form than extroverts. Extroverts get distracted when they have nothing to do. But in the case of an introvert, he/she will get distracted if they have a lot on their plate. If there is high or more stimulation an introvert will either start getting distracted or withdrawn towards his own shell.
3. Call them possessive or territorial
Introverts don’t like intruders or people poking their heads in their business. They don’t like interference in any matter and neither do they like to share their personal space with anyone; they like to keep to themselves only. Having nagging people or relatives around disturbs them tremendously. Thus introverts find it so hard to share their feelings openly. They are very private people. They try the best to avoid any public complications or embarrassments.
4. Not always nerds
It isn’t necessary that all introverts are nerds. Agreed they read a lot but that doesn’t make them nerds in life. They know how to have fun; it’s just that their idea of fun is different from others. They enjoy being at home; home is their relaxing point- where they relax, like shopping or eating is for others. Being philosophical also doesn’t make them all “preachy” it’s just what they like to do. Philosophy interests them.
5. Intellectual introvert
Introverts are quite intellectual and smart. They spend a lot of their time thinking and analyzing things. They are observant and don’t pass their opinions, they’ll rather sit back and process about it and think it over. Introverts at times even tend to be philosophical in nature. Reading and thinking tends to help them in this manner. They don’t get involved in small social gossip; they’d rather discuss ideas and projects. They think deeply but also daydream a lot. It eases the tension from their mindset.
6. Personal space
Having a personal space is very essential to an introvert. It could be their room or any particular spot in their house, where they can sit peacefully and think or recharge or just relax. Being drawn to this space doesn’t mean that they are depressed or sad, this is what they enjoy doing. Being alone relaxes them. They’ll get drawn to their room or that spot quite a number of times in a day. They enjoy their own company more. Their nature is of being quiet and subdued in general. Don’t confuse this with “aloofness-of-people”.
7. Social life
If you think introverts don’t have friends or don’t like to go out in public at all, you are mistaken. They do have friends, few, they can count their friends on 1 hand, but these are true friends. They don’t like to brag so only the few friends of theirs would know about their hidden talents and their life. They don’t like to go out much, but they do go out. They feel drained in a big party or crowd; they feel de-energized and hence have to go back into their “personal-space” to recharge. It’s important for them to go back process and think and then recharge.
It’s not like introverts don’t like to talk; they just don’t like to make small talks. If a topic/project interests an introverted person he/she can talk about it easily and instantly. Introverts have slower pace of talking as they think before they talk, unlike extroverts, hence one term introverts as slow. Whereas it’s just that they are being cautious and are thinking deeply before answering or talking. Though they prefer to write down rather than talking. They are good listeners as they are attentive and wont interrupt you when you’re talking and when they talk they don’t make eye contact and say what they mean. They are straight and won’t beat around the bush.
9. Observe and mingle
Introverts are silent people. They don’t talk much, but if they have to be part of a group or join a team they’ll observe the whole scenario and the functioning first. They take in data and experience very quickly, they are good observers. At the same time they are very patient too, they’ll never assert themselves or interject, but this doesn’t mean that introverts won’t put forward their point at all. They have strong insights and enjoy thinking and exploring their thoughts. Along with being observant and patient they are very cautious as they revert under stress.
10. The reader
Introverts tend to be aloof from social world as it de-energizes them. They prefer silent and individual activities. You may find an introvert choosing reading a book over going out and partying instead of being involved in group activities they’ll sit back and prefer listening to music or reading. This doesn’t mean that they are anti social; they are just not very comfortable in crowds. Introverts, they like to be involved in projects. They do thrive on creative stuff.
Introverts are like all people; just have a different personality and way of doing and managing things. They can still like to have fun, but like I said in their own way. Try not to push introverts, you’ll end up messing your relation with them or simply make them turn towards their shell more. They do like to party and be around people but for them their personal space matters more than you can even imagine. There are many famous introverts too, who have openly acknowledged being introverts- Emma Watson, Bill Clinton and many more. So hopefully thorough this you can identify your introvert friend/colleague/child and be OK the way he/she behaves. Because trust me, that’s all they want from you. So try not to change them into being an extrovert. Because if a person is an extrovert or an introvert…He is still a lovely person.